Mom cancels 13-year-old son's birthday party because she suspects he stole $10 from her purse: 'He still says he didn't do it, but I feel like he is lying.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Dec 21, 2025 8:00 PM EST

If he didn't steal the money, he will never forgive her for punishing him like this without proof. 

Some parents are willing to punish their kids on the mere suspicion that they did something wrong. If their kid looks at them funny, they will assume he's the reason the bathroom drain is clogged. This isn't a great way to parent because it always assumes that the kid is in the wrong, even without proof. The kid won't be able to trust their parent, and it will make them more likely to lie. If your parents will punish you whether you do something bad or not, you might as well do something bad to avoid punishment by any means necessary. 

There are definitely levels to a parent's punishment fitting their child's crime. If a kid doesn't clean their room, it wouldn't be entirely unreasonable for their parents to tell them that they can't hang out with their friends that weekend. However, it would be a little nuts to force your kid to quit their extracurricular activities and ban them from sleeping with the door closed for a year for the mere crime of having a messy room.

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  • The punishment in this story does not suit the crime. This mom suspects her son stole $10 from her purse, but she doesn't have any evidence that he did. She wants to cancel his birthday party over this perceived crime, but most rational people are advising her not to do that.

  • Sad and disappointed teenagers boy standing on chair indoors in abandoned building looking at camera
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for canceling my son's birthday party over $10?

    Aita- | 34yo female have a son who is turning 13 this weekend. He bday falls close to xmas and I am not wealthy, we just get by, so many years he doesn't get a full party. This year felt like a big milestone becoming a teenager so I wanted to make it special. We
    via u/Low_Currency_1038
  • invited 10 kids and rented out some batting cages for 1.5 hours, I ordered a cake and planned a whole game and food and snacks. We live in an apartment so I planned a scavenger hunt outside to keep them entertained after the batting cages and wanted the
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  • prize to be soem hidden money. So on Monday I pulled out $20 and got 45 dollar bills. Today is Thursday and his last day of school before break they were having a party at school and so I pulled a $5 out of my wallet and handed it to him and saw the
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  • other 3 $5s. I work from home so went to my room to go back to work, while in there I heard his friend come inside for 5 minutes before they left together. A little after thay I walk out to get more coffee and I notice that both my purse and wallet are open, which
    via u/Low_Currency_1038
  • is not like me, so I go and look and see if only have 1 $5 in my purse. I immediately call my son asking if he took $10 which he denies. I say we'll if you didnt take it then your friend must of and he says no. I feel like I should add that i dont think his friend took
    via u/Low_Currency_1038
  • the money, he has been in my house lots before and nothing has ever gone missing. My son was with me when I pulled out the money at the store and knew what I had and where it was. My son has also never stolen money but does sneak extra snacks and
    via u/Low_Currency_1038
  • Orange and white plastic pack
    via Gaining Visuals

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • cookies and lies a lot about little things and his lying has been an issue for a while now and sadly i have caught his lying so much i dont believe him much. My son's refuses to say what happened and how the money disappeared, they were the only 2 in the living room and I 100% saw it when I handed
    via u/Low_Currency_1038
  • him the $5. When he got home we tried to talk about it but he still says he didnt do it and neither did his friend. So I told him that I his bday was cancelled as I feel like he is lying and I do not trust people in the apartment if he has no clue what happened to my money. A part of me feels like I
    via u/Low_Currency_1038
  • Tidy room filled with furnitures
    via deborah cortelazzi

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • am overreacting over $10 but I feel like if my son did take and I let him still have a party I am setting an example that he can just steal more next time. So AITA?
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  • BullwinkleJM TA - Only 4 things are possible: Son took the money. Friend took the money and your son doesn't know he took it. Friend took the money and son DOES know it. You made a mistake and/or it just got lost. He's going to feel like shit for 3/4 of those things. Maybe not today but soon enough. But IF he is innocent, and we all deserve the presumption of innocence, he will remember this for flipping ever. Do YOU remember what it feels like to be wrongly accused, let alone punished for it? H
    via u/BullwinkleJM
  • TherinneMoonglow YTA The truth is that you don't know that either kid took your money. Maybe you put it somewhere safe and forgot. Maybe it fell out of your wallet. Your brain fills in details all the time. You could be mistaken that you saw that money in your wallet. I'm a teacher. If I had one of your $5 every time a student swore they remembered turning a paper in, only to later find it in their backpack, I could retire right now. Human brains make mistakes. I get it. Money is tight. It's str
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  • CrabbiestAsp Soft YTA. Absolutely have a consequence for the missing money. Either he took it or he knows his friend did, he isn't being honest no matter who took it. But! I think special occasions should not be used as punishment. Cancelling birthdays, Christmas etc is wrong in my opinion. Ground him, take away his phone or whatever he thinks is important for a while, not cancel his birthday. Especially because you have said this is not a normal every year occurrence.
    via u/CrabbiestAsp
  • Puzzleheaded-Ad7606 My son was accused by his grandma of stealing $20. She lectured him the same way you are. She shamed him. His dad and Step mom did the same. He called me bawling. A teenage boy crying like he did when he was a small child. I knew he didn't take it, not only because even though my son was a jackhole teen at the time he wasn't a thief, but because of the tone in his voice. He was so hurt they all thought he would steal from his grandma. A week later she went to the gas station
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  • Judging YourBehavior YTA. Your 13 year old son lies about taking extra snacks. He's not a thief, he's hungry.
    via u/JudgingYourBehavior
  • Petty TrashPanda YTA, because speaking as a Mom here, you don't have proof of wrongdoing, so you are teaching your kid that there is no truth or trust between you. My mom accused me of stealing something when I was a kid. Turned out she made the mistake, and the item was found a year later. It's been 30 years and I still bring it up if things get misplaced. As for the lying: look as a mom of boys of a similar age, you have to pause and ask why your kid is lying to you. Mine lie if they think the
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  • Fear_The_Rabbit This has to be handled, but not by cancelling. He's going to be humiliated when everyone is told it's canceled. Hope you didn't tell any parents why. He needs to be dealt with and not trusted for a while until he earns it back, but a birthday party for a 13 year old who hasn't had a real one like this is cruel. YTA - the punishment doesn't fit the crime.
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  • countessofole YTA for using your son's birthday's proximity to Christmas as an excuse not to give him real birthday parties. I get not being well off, but if you would have given him a real birthday party any other time of year, you should. have been giving him real birthday parties in December, too. He didn't choose when to be born. Not cool. And now you finally plan one for him, and you wanna snatch it away. Also not cool. I do strongly disagree with folks minimizing it as being "just over ten
    via u/countessofole
  • sunshine4991 YTA. Growing up without money sucks as a kid and it honestly can shape how they view a lot of things as an adult. Not having the snacks, not having the money for school stuff like everyone else sucks. Sneaking food and a little extra money for the school parties kinda points to maybe he is struggling with these things and it could've been a conversation with him to see if this is something he isn't handling well. I don't think cancelling his whole birthday over $10 is fair and some
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  • DolQual123 YTA. You don't have proof he did this. There are 4 possibilities - he took it, he knows who took it, he doesn't know who took it, or you misplaced the money. Also, uh, if you consider him "sneaking snacks" to be lying...you need to feed him more. Please go to a food pantry if you cannot afford to buy more food, he is a growing boy. Teenagers need more food than adults because of their stage of development. He only turns 13 once, uncancel the party and talk to him the day after his par
    via u/DolQual123

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stealing cancelled birthday party teenagers friends lying bad parenting snacks mom money
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